Creating Space…For Calm
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Creating Space … For Calm
Photo by Fa Barboza on Unsplash
An emotional shift can happen in an instant, often just below our conscious awareness, and often without our permission. But when we learn to tune in, we can also acknowledge that emotion, change the channel, and bring ourselves back to feeling calm and content. Here are a few ways to do that.
Tune In
Before we can create any shift in our lives, we need to be mindful of our thoughts. We should ask ourselves which thoughts are affecting our emotions right now. Is our mind still replaying a conversation that didn't go as expected? Are we setting unrealistic expectations for ourselves? Are we repeating negative messages about things that are beyond our control? We need to evaluate how these messages are serving us and how they are hindering us.
Sometimes our mood is affected by our subconscious thoughts, yet remain unnoticed until we consciously pay attention to them. Just imagine taking a pause during the day and observing the direction your thoughts are taking. Would you be surprised by your internal monologue? Would you be comfortable if someone you love spoke to themselves in the same way? Or would you challenge their beliefs and offer a different perspective? Once you tune in, you can then move to the next step.
Change the Channel
When we become aware of the thoughts that are causing disruption to our mood or energy, we create space to challenge them. We can start by asking ourselves questions like: Is this thought really true? How is this belief serving me? Where is the evidence? What other perspectives can I consider? However, it's important to approach this process with compassion and avoid being too critical of ourselves. The goal is to gain a deeper understanding of our thoughts and beliefs so that we can make an informed decision about how to navigate them. It may take some time and practice to shift away from unconscious patterns of thinking and belief systems, but it can be a transformative experience.
Here’s what this looks like in practice. Imagine that you have been in a “funk” all day, and you want to shake it off:
Notice the sensations that you feel in your body - is there tension, is your heart racing, is your jaw clenched? This is the first sign that our unconscious thought patterns are creating disruption to our energy.
Reflect - What are the thoughts that are dancing around in the back of your mind? Take notice of any that are critical or judgmental in particular. If possible, think back to when you felt your energy shift into this “icky” place.
Challenge the thoughts - After some reflection you realize you’ve really been in a little bit of a funk since last night when you burned dinner. As you reflect you realize there is this inner monologue saying “I burned dinner, I am such a lousy cook. I ruined everyone’s evening.” This is your chance to pause and to challenge. Ask: “Is this really true? How are these thoughts serving me?” The reality is, it may be true that you burned dinner, but when we really slow it down, there is also a lot of STORY wrapped around that initial thought.
Ask how this pattern of thinking is serving you - Our thoughts are OFTEN accompanied by a lot of STORY. Perhaps you really did burn the dinner, but how are those subsequent thoughts serving you? Are those thoughts laced with judgment? More than likely, this is where the emotional tension is coming from. And this is where compassion comes in.
Ask, “What is a more supportive perspective?” - Once we notice our thoughts and the stories that accompany them, we also put ourselves in a more empowered position to respond with compassion, curiosity, and empathy. Questions like - “Is it realistic that no human ever burns a meal?” “Did I really ruin the entire evening?” “Maybe this is an opportunity to try out some new cooking techniques and take my skills to the next level?” Explore new thoughts and responses. Really sort through them until you feel a noticeable shift in the sensations your body is experiencing. That’s how you know you found the right channel.
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Turn Up the Volume
This is where the magic happens. As we notice the power we have to create our own shift, we build a habit of responding with curiosity, empathy, and compassion. Each time, we practice this alternate response it’s important to really focus on absorbing the energy of the new soundtrack. How do you feel? Loved? Supported? Cared for? Lean into the sensations of this new response. Notice how your body is responding and your mind is settling down. Don’t rush through it, allow yourself to explore, feel, and appreciate. Giving yourself permission to come back again and again.
Check out the practice below for a loving kindness meditation. This meditation is not only an amazing way to send love and compassion out into the world, but to consciously give that same care back to ourselves.
Sending you nothing but love on this journey. Keep going.
Namaste.
Are you looking for more ways to support your holistic well-being?
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