Creating Space…For Optimism

I’ve been fascinated by the concept of Optimism lately. Well, to be more specific- I’ve been fascinated with the concept of Optimism ever since I took an EQ assessment and ranked much lower on optimism than I ever would have expected. The executive coach was amazing as we talked through my results. It wasn’t a mark of failure. It truly was a chance to explore deeper, to uncover what sat behind that ‘score’. My guess is most people would not have suspected that ‘Optimism’ was such a challenging area for me. I spent so much time “talking myself out” of the worry that I was feeling that although I appeared all silver lining, rainbows and sunshine on the outside I was completely drained mentally on the inside. And the crazy part is, I didn’t even realize it. In my mind I was simply doing what needed to be done. I was preparing for the worst case scenario, or “getting ahead of the situation”. Whatever that means.

I’ve listened to plenty of meditations about how we are pre-wired to look for danger, to anticipate the negative, and that it goes back to our days of scarcity and fight for survival. So I get it, it’s called the negativity bias and there’s a ton of research out there that helps explain it. Even still I didn’t realize that the EXTENT to which I worried about ‘impending danger’ was a little excessive. And I didn’t realize how much energy I was expending just trying to combat all the worry going on in my head.

So I practiced a little of what I often preach - when something comes up, don’t judge and don’t dismiss - dive deeper. I revisited the book “Learned Optimism”. When I’d first read it, I was battling some personal challenges, so I attributed my “somewhat pessimistic” score to the current circumstances. But by the time this EQ assessment was being done I was in a different headspace, a more positive one I thought, and this one was especially interesting because I wasn’t just observing it in terms of my personal life, but also how I showed up at work, for my team and for others that were influenced by my energy. I wanted to find ways to cultivate more optimism.

I kept reading, meditating, and exploring. I retook the assessment. And what I learned was that in my case, it wasn’t so much my negative outlook that was affecting my score, but rather the fleeting attention or awareness that I was drawing from positive experiences. Apparently, I have a tendency to not give myself enough credit for my contribution to positive outcomes or to even absorb and really experience the wins as much as I could. I’m sure this goes back to my ongoing exploration of Perfectionism. But it’s really interesting to see how the pieces connect. So I recently stumbled upon a meditation called Positive Neuroplasticity. I’m completely nerding out on it y’all. It brings my holistic health world of yoga and intention head to head with the fascinating world of neuroscience. It’s essentially based on the study of positive psychology and I see it as a natural bridge between the two worlds. There’s so much within it, but it makes good scientific sense around why setting intentions, gratitude journaling, and mindfulness all contribute to ACTUAL changes in the brain patterns that are responsible for feelings of optimism and well being. I’m still learning, but I’m so inspired by my ability to use my own mind to change my brain function. Neuroplasticity is ‘the ability of neural networks in the brain to change through growth and reorganization. These changes range from individual neuron pathways making new connections, to systematic adjustments like cortical remapping’. Essentially we can remap our brain with repeated patterns of focused attention. The beauty of this is that none of us are doomed to worry or obsessive thoughts. That being said, this is not a false claim that difficultly times aren’t real. However, It’s a lesson in how to truly deepen the impact and influence of positive experiences and how to keep the negative ones in perspective. This journey is still a little newer for me, relative to a lot of the other yoga and meditation I have been doing, but I’m excited to continue to share how it is shaping life and life’s experiences for me. I can without a doubt say that I can feel a shift within. I have been pausing to really observe, and really acknowledge the things that are going well. No matter how small they seem. A positive exchange with a stranger, the feeling of the sun on my skin, or even brief conversation with a family member. As I focus my attention on the positive- i mean really amplify how good the experience feels, I am worrying less, catastrophizong MUCH less, and truly enjoying the positive experiences of life so much more. I find that my mood is better, and I’m not walking around feeling quite as drained. So I know there’s something to it. And I know with continual practice I’ll continue to shape those positive brain pathways because the reality is - life isn’t getting any easier, but how we respond to it is totally within our control. You guys have seen (or heard) this quote from me many times, but it still hits as hard for me as the first time I ever heard it…