Duality. Defined as an instance of opposition or contrast between two concepts or two aspects of something.

The concept of duality has been playing in my mind for weeks. And although my original plan was to build out a series based on my last post around Perfectionism, I need to take a pause and focus on this. Especially right now. It’s been lingering in my mind constantly, and now given the (appropriate) state of unrest in America, duality for me, and my mental and emotional state is constantly present. I imagine I’m not alone. I hope and believe we are at an inflection point in America. A place where now that we see, I mean REALLY see and understand the disparities that exist in our society, that we can’t go back to pretending, to “not knowing” in blissful ignorance. The senseless killing of George Floyd was appalling and inhumane, and now his name is etched into the mental memory wall along with of all the others who have suffered violently at the hands of hatred and bigotry. So, where does that leave us? We are battling some incredibly challenging emotions, but emotions that don’t just show up singular in focus. Our emotions battle for spotlight, we wrestle with how to feel, and in that juxtaposition, we find ourselves straddled in a state of duality.

And it’s so ironic because my mind was fixated on this concept of duality weeks before this most recent tragedy even happened. But now it’s stronger than ever. Contrary to what we want to believe, it is VERY possible to be both grateful and depressed, angry AND hopeful, excited for someone else’s good fortune yet disenchanted regarding your own. But right now, all of that is so much stronger. I literally show up to my yoga classes full of gratitude for the opportunity to connect, feeling alive and inspired, and genuinely happy for those moments. But behind all that, not too far below the surface is sadness, frustration and discontent. How can I do more? What’s my role in all this? How do I show up true to self, but still able to effect change?

Trying to suppress what we feel is where discension happens, but OPENING ourselves to the FULL RANGE of emotions is where discovery starts and fulfillment develops, and emotional wholeness happens. This post should have gone out last week, but my head wasn’t in the right place. Rather than resisting the emotions that I felt bubbling under the surface I have instead found myself diving deeper in to explore them. Behind the heartfelt smiles I also embrace and acknowledge the tears. Pretending to live in one state of emotion while the rest of those emotions are left to chart their own course is not only unhelpful, but damaging. This is the time to explore it all. What’s making you happy, what are you grateful for? Where’s the hurt, and how might you sense into it deeper so that you can uncover the true source? If we want to make a difference in this world, it starts from within. And we need to show up as our whole selves in order to face the reality of the world around us. In all this, through all the struggle, I send you peace, prosperity, and love.

Namaste,

Tian