What do you enjoy? How often do you give yourself time, you know, create the space to enjoy those things? Or maybe, it’s been so long since you’ve allowed yourself to ponder the idea of “life’s little moments” that you don’t even know what you would do IF you did have a free moment to yourself. As self-indulgent and frivolous as it may seem, taking the time to focus on your own enjoyment, your own self-care is critically important. You may be thinking, I have a demanding job, I have children, I have a spouse or partner, or I have family members that rely on me! I don’t have time to worry about myself right now. I’d challenge that very notion - because you DO have a job that demands you be at your best, you DO have children that need you to be healthy, you DO have a spouse or family members that rely on you, you ALL benefit from you taking the time to put your own mask on first. And as caretakers, lovers, nurturers, it’s hard to shift the focus to something that seems so selfish. But it’s NOT selfish, it’s important. And while I’ll stand strong in my belief that first and foremost you should be able to do it simply because it is good for YOU, you can take comfort in knowing that everyone in your universe stands to benefit when you create space to give yourself the care that you need. Self-care is another form of self love, of showing ourselves compassion and paying attention to what unmet needs we may have internally, and allows us to be at our best externally.

”Wait, what DO I like to do?”

So you may be wondering, “where do I even start?” Well, those that know me know that I am a list person, what better list to make than one that spills over with things that bring you joy?! It can be as simple or complex as you like. And if time really is an issue, maybe divide the list into two categories. Maybe it’s ‘quick wins’ and ‘someday soon’, or ‘solo-time’ and ‘guy/girl-time’. The options can be as broad as you want. What are some things you enjoyed when you were a kid that you’ve long forgotten about? Playing in the park? Why not a hike on the trail? Art class? What about an adult pottery class at the nearby rec center? Or maybe all you want to be able to do is take a bath in peace? Whatever it is, make a list, and keep it live, update it when inspiration strikes, and don’t assume any idea is too big or too small. In the beginning, we’re just going for inspiration. And if lists aren’t your thing, consider just taking time throughout the day, just 2-3 minutes to pause and say, “what do I need right now?”. Maybe it’s a quick walk around the block, or a moment of down time. I believe the more that we practice the habit of tuning in to our own inner voice of compassion, and then fulfilling that need, and experiencing the positive uplift of that self-love, the more we can encourage bigger, more meaningful instances, and do so with an open mind and open heart.

“Pencil ME In”

Once you have an idea or two, it’s time to take action. Schedule it. It seems so silly, but really taking the time to mark the calendar or book the appointment makes it real, AND it gives you something to look forward to. How often these things happen is really up to you. And if it’s something that just starts to happen more spontaneously, great! One of my favorite things to do is schedule a random Monday off of work. I know Fridays get all the love when it comes to taking vacation, but how often are you sitting around on Thursday night saying, “man I really wish I didn’t have to work tomorrow.” I mean maybe you do, but isn’t it so much more common to dread Monday than Friday?! What a perfect day to take a vacation day, or even a half day and do something that’s JUST FOR YOU! If that’s not an option, maybe you can work out an exchange with a friend, maybe one handles the play date this time, and the other one takes the next shift? I know every situation is unique, and I know it never feels like there are enough hours in the day, but if you are committed and persistent, and maybe just a little creative, you’ll make a way, and it’ll be worth it, because you’re worth it.

Enjoy The Moment

Once you have that day, or even just that hour, or 5 minutes, take the time to SAVOR it. I was recently asked what I do to care for myself by doing things simply for joy, not for “achievement”. Haphazardly I responded, “I really don’t.” I acknowledged that my moments of joy usually have to do with spending time with loved ones, that for me, really is bliss. But this isn’t what the person was referring to. They wanted to know about time that was dedicated just to me. “I got nothing”. As a yoga instructor I really do enjoy my practice, both solo and when I am leading a class. However, there is a certain awareness during my yoga, that straddles between ‘just for joy’ and ‘improve yourself for others’. So I was challenged to be more deliberate, and to make the time. I made my mental list, and promised myself I’d spend the next week finding some small moments, if nothing else. On the first day I came home from work and simply took a pause before heading straight into the kitchen to prep dinner. I decide to listen to some music, prop my feet up, and just be still for 20 minutes. It was glorious. But even better than the music and the break between work and well, more work… was the permission I gave myself to just enjoy it. Later in the week I used my lunch break to get a pedicure. I realized in that moment that I never took the time to take the moment in, so getting a pedicure always felt like a chore. I’d check email, check my watch, try and process my mental to do list, but seldom had I ever just sat back and enjoyed the break. This time was different. And when I approached it differently, it had a lasting affect. So what little moments can you create in your own life? And maybe, with a little planning, you can start to tackle some of those “someday soon” moments as well!!

Check out these uplifting quotes as little reminders of the many ways we can put ourselves first.

What’s your favorite way to pamper yourself? What new ideas did you come up with?

Namaste,

Tian