I remember a time when talking about conditions like depression, anxiety, and even chronic stress were considered taboo. I also remember as young as 12 or 13 having feelings of overwhelming sadness, obsessive thoughts and a sense that I wasn’t in control of my own mind. I never spoke up. I never expressed what I was feeling to anyone. I felt like on the outside life was good, and I was always seen as fun-loving, smart and strong. I remember feeling helpless, hopeless and even invisible at times. It’s like the scene in a bad dream when you open your mouth to scream and the only thing that comes out is silent pain. I don’t blame anyone for not noticing. How could they have known? My grades were good, I barely got into trouble, and I had a healthy social life. So why did I suffer so long in silence? Why did it take until I was in my early 30’s to seek help for something that had actually been relatively persistent throughout my teens and 20’s? I honestly don’t know the answer, but I do know what I’d go back and tell myself if I knew then what I know now. I know what I would share with anyone that is dealing with depression, anxiety, or any other mental health condition. I share these thoughts with you so that we can all raise the voice of love and compassion, and so that no one has to suffer in silence.

Check in With Yourself

Pay attention to how you are doing. It seems so obvious but sometimes we power through life taking care of business or caring for others without actually slowing down to care for, and check in with ourselves. I find this can be particularly true when we are facing life events that by general measures seem positive. Take for instance starting a new job, buying a home or even expanding your family. These are certainly very exciting times, but they can also carry their fair share of uncertainty, stress and feelings of vulnerability. Simply checking in, and giving yourself the space to feel the full spectrum of the experience can allow us to acknowledge the flip side of the emotions and access the support we need to balance it all. Checking in can allow us to properly care for our needs without putting unrealistic expectations on ourselves.

Give Yourself Grace

Building on the first point, I believe another really critical approach is to simply give ourselves the same grace as we would a loved one. Be kind to ourselves. Think about the advice you give to your sister or brother or best friend when they are having a hard time. Think about how often we extend patience and understanding. I often wonder why is it so hard to love ourselves with the same measure of forgiveness and acceptance. Why is it acceptable for the people in our lives to be less than perfect, to be a little bit of a hot mess at times, yet we feel the need to be a picture of perfection, without error and unscathed? Who’s reality is that? Imagine what tough times would feel like if we were intentional about giving ourselves a bit of love and self care. By simply saying “I know you aren’t feeling great right now. I know you are going through a tough time. But you have overcome tough times in the past, and I believe in you. You can overcome this too.” I kinda just want to put that on a little audio recording right now, and whip it out the next time I feel stuck and overwhelmed.

Seek Out Resources

Another thing I find to be really powerful is to seek out resources that will help promote positive mental health within your own life. This could involve changing your daily routine or practices. It could be exploring meditation or yoga. It could be leveraging community resources or your support system. And while we don’t like to talk about it, it could definitely involve seeking the support of a mental health specialist. I believe seeking the support of a mental health professional is important even when you do have a healthy lifestyle, yoga, journaling or meditation practice if you find the daily routine isn’t fully supporting your needs. These elements can coexist and complement one another. In my experience, yoga is what allowed me to actually take that introspective look within and acknowledge that I really wasn’t okay. To build the courage to say “I need help”. Through yoga I learned to love myself enough to put myself first. This has all been a game changer in my life. Through therapy I have learned coping skills. I’ve been able to step back and revisit pivotal moments in life and understand the source of pain, allowing me to more effectively identify present day triggers and address them. I’ve been able to broaden my perspective and manage the hardships that we are all faced with in more effective ways.

None of this is to suggest that we can just catapult ourselves to never feel moments of sadness, angst, or stress. Those are regular occurrences of life. But noticing how we feel, treating ourselves with loving kindness, and seeking the appropriate resources to support our mental state can make all the difference in living a happy life that faces difficult times, and living a difficult life with a few peaks of happiness.

July is Minority Mental Health Awareness Month. Please explore or share the resource below with anyone you know that may need them.

Thank you for walking through this journey with me. If you have words of encouragement for others or other resources to share, please drop them in the comment box below!

Namaste,

Tian

About Creating Space Blog: Creating Space blog desires to help people create space in life for what matters most to them, to support mental health, and to provide thought provoking ideas that encourages readers to nourish their own well-being, through expression, reflection, and introspection.

About the author, Tian Philson: I am a registered yoga teacher and student of yoga by passion, and a communications consultant by trade. But, first and foremost I am a dedicated mother and wife. I’m a daughter, a sister, an aunt, a cousin, a friend a confidante and a passionate soul. I fell in love with yoga well over a decade ago, as I stumbled upon a power flow in a workout video. It was an incredible addition to my fitness routine. Then, I discovered the mental and emotional benefits as I was also struggling with anxiety and depression, and it became an incredible addition to my life. I have recently become even more committed to sharing the benefits of yoga, mindfulness, and meditation with the world – one breath, one pose, one post at a time.